A Rest Stop of Joy Along the Way

Why is it so hard to trust the good times? Why is it that I see the dark nights of doubt and fear as real, and the good times of grace-filled days, the days full of good conversations and joyful laughter as short stopping points along the way, on a long journey full of struggle and heartache?

This past month has been packed full of hard work, but it has flowed gracefully, with the help of many angels along the way. I said goodbye to my parish of three years -- St. Luke's in Racine, WI: I packed up all of my too-many possessions; and I arrived at the huge rectory of my new parish -- another St. Luke's, in Jamestown, NY -- where I will be the interim rector for a year or so, however long it takes them to find the next rector in their search.

I arrived here just in time for the vestry and the youth group and the Bishop Overs Guild -- made up originally of all the working women in the church, and named after a missionary bishop who ended up settling in Racine -- to have their Christmas parties, so in 10 days, I attended three parties, two meetings and one choir practice. One of those parties was held at the rectory. (Yes, the same rectory that had just received all of my belongings only two weeks earlier.) So, when I wasn't attending meetings and parties, and trying to check in to the office enough to let them know that I WAS here, I was trying to get the public spaces of the rectory clear of boxes, and eventually decorate for Christmas.

All of this was tiring and stressful, but a lot of FUN after not having enough to do in my small parish in Racine, WI.

Already, in less than a month, St. Luke's-J has allowed me to tamper with two long-standing traditions: their Advent Service of Lessons and Carols, which I moved to the Sunday after Christmas, and the singing of "Silent Night" as the very last thing on Christmas Eve, which I moved to the place of the post-communion prayer, and then had the lights come up and sent them out with the uplifting and sending forth of "Joy to the World." We don't need sleepy and subdued people going out into the world. How's that message going to catch fire and attract new people?

But much credit to them for rolling with the changes. If this is a sign of things to come, this parish is open and ready to meet the challenges of a world that looks at church suspiciously, and without much respect. Not to say that I blame the world, after the messes the church has created with its clumsy theology and its claims to have ALL of the truth and ALL of the salvation -- whatever that means.

So, I find myself at another beginning, and it looks promising. I cannot be considered for rector of this parish; it's in my contract, which frees me to be bold and prophetic and not have to please specific people (well, not for long anyway), which is how it should be anyway for priests and pastors. Somewhere along the line, we began to worry about tenure and keeping our jobs, instead of speaking the hard truth in love. Some of my gifted, long-tenured colleagues have learned to do that. Me? Not so much. Too often, I find myself bursting with the urgency of what needs to be said, and don't always say it gracefully, or at the right time.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy this rest stop of fun and energy and promise of joyful Good News in a parish that seems open to the workings of Ms. Holy Spirit.